http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/-t1.htm If you have a Joke, good for you, it goes here! Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:57:15 GMT 10 http://illiweb.com/fa/logo_en.gif http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/-t1.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ridiculous-lawsuits-t1476.htm Lee The Stella Awards It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The "Stella Awards" are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of ew Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's.? That case inspired the "Stella Awards" for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners: 7th Place: Kathleen Robertson ... Jokes Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:57:15 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ridiculous-lawsuits-t1476.htm#10067 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ridiculous-lawsuits-t1476.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/mans-companion-t1469.htm Brian Where do pets come from? A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will ... Jokes Tue, 10 Jul 2007 13:30:49 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/mans-companion-t1469.htm#10033 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/mans-companion-t1469.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/religious-joke-u-have-been-warned-t1442.htm Brian A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. ... Jokes Thu, 07 Jun 2007 10:49:37 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/religious-joke-u-have-been-warned-t1442.htm#9849 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/religious-joke-u-have-been-warned-t1442.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/science-exam-t1437.htm Amanda If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam Answers: Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: ... Jokes Thu, 24 May 2007 10:40:10 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/science-exam-t1437.htm#9832 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/science-exam-t1437.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/a-a-a-d-d-t1424.htm Jesse Subject: A. A. A. D. D. Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to bring the mail inside and go through it before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put ... Jokes Thu, 10 May 2007 22:03:04 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/a-a-a-d-d-t1424.htm#9771 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/a-a-a-d-d-t1424.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/don-t-put-grandma-on-the-stand-t1413.htm Lynelle Don't Put Grandma on the Stand -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Smith. I've known you ... Jokes Fri, 04 May 2007 18:14:39 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/don-t-put-grandma-on-the-stand-t1413.htm#9735 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/don-t-put-grandma-on-the-stand-t1413.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/letter-from-camp-t1410.htm Amanda Dear Mom and Dad, Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in ... Jokes Tue, 01 May 2007 13:02:28 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/letter-from-camp-t1410.htm#9713 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/letter-from-camp-t1410.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/gripe-sheet-t1395.htm Amanda Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted ... Jokes Mon, 23 Apr 2007 10:40:27 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/gripe-sheet-t1395.htm#9644 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/gripe-sheet-t1395.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/your-age-by-diner-restaurant-math-t1393.htm Brian YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read .... Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. ... Jokes Fri, 20 Apr 2007 12:52:53 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/your-age-by-diner-restaurant-math-t1393.htm#9639 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/your-age-by-diner-restaurant-math-t1393.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/amusing-camp-story-t1361.htm Lee The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" "The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are ... Jokes Wed, 04 Apr 2007 16:38:57 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/amusing-camp-story-t1361.htm#9339 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/amusing-camp-story-t1361.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/north-n-south-t1376.htm Brian NORTH 'n SOUTH The North has Bloomingdales. The South has Dollar General The North has coffee houses. The South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services. The South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives. The South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names. The South has double first names. The North has Indy car races. The South has stock car races. North has Cream of Wheat. The South has grits. The North has green salads. ... Jokes Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:11:44 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/north-n-south-t1376.htm#9482 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/north-n-south-t1376.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/irreverent-jokes-t1332.htm Relyt The teacher gave her fith grade class an assignment:Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one-by-one began to tell their stories. " Johnny do you have a story to share?", the teacher asked. Yes ma'am Johnny replied. " My daddy told me a story about my aunt Nancy."She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy terriritory and all she had was a samll flask orf whiskey, ... Jokes Sun, 18 Mar 2007 22:11:51 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/irreverent-jokes-t1332.htm#9163 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/irreverent-jokes-t1332.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/a-silly-story-long-but-funny-t1344.htm Amanda I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a ... Jokes Thu, 22 Mar 2007 16:44:33 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/a-silly-story-long-but-funny-t1344.htm#9242 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/a-silly-story-long-but-funny-t1344.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/bumper-sticker-t1362.htm Brian
FINALLY, someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. The hottest selling bumper sticker comes from New York state . ..



"RUN HILLARY RUN"



Democrats put it on the rear bumper.



Republicans put it on the front bumper.]]> Jokes Wed, 04 Apr 2007 17:04:22 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/bumper-sticker-t1362.htm#9341 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/bumper-sticker-t1362.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/school-answering-machine-t1337.htm Ginnifer This is very sad .... but being the mean little snot that I am, I would have done the same thing. I hate ignorant parents that blame education for their own failures. SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious!) This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School ( California ) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented ... Jokes Tue, 20 Mar 2007 15:01:27 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/school-answering-machine-t1337.htm#9199 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/school-answering-machine-t1337.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/southern-security-t1334.htm Relyt HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines. 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads: "Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the ... Jokes Mon, 19 Mar 2007 22:17:12 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/southern-security-t1334.htm#9183 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/southern-security-t1334.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/kids-in-church-t1320.htm Relyt 3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all ... Jokes Wed, 14 Mar 2007 12:52:40 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/kids-in-church-t1320.htm#9097 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/kids-in-church-t1320.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-wonderful-state-of-ohio-t1314.htm Relyt >>>> > Subject: Springfield, Ohio >>>> > >>>> > > You must first learn to correctly pronounce the city name. It is >>>> > > "Spring-field, O-hi-o," also known as "Springtucky, Ohio." [Ann's >>>>note: >>>> > > I prefer to say "Sprang-field O-ha-uh."] >>>> > > >>>> > > Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Springfield ... Jokes Tue, 13 Mar 2007 21:15:11 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-wonderful-state-of-ohio-t1314.htm#9065 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-wonderful-state-of-ohio-t1314.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/bill-clinton-t1312.htm Brian BASEBALL SEASON IS NEARLY HERE.... Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee season opener sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service agents directly behind them. One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Bill. At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head. The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was at the unanimous request of the entire team, from the owner on down to the bat boy." Bill ... Jokes Tue, 13 Mar 2007 12:14:18 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/bill-clinton-t1312.htm#9055 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/bill-clinton-t1312.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/perfect-husband-t1294.htm Amanda Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: ... Jokes Tue, 06 Mar 2007 11:39:09 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/perfect-husband-t1294.htm#8908 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/perfect-husband-t1294.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/watch-out-for-this-scam-t1287.htm Brian Watch out for this scam. There is a slick routine aimed at stealing from unwary persons. They say that the gang usually comprises three or four members. While the three younger ones, all appearing to be cute and innocent, divert their"mark" (or intended target) with a show of friendliness and fun, the fourth - the eldest of this gang of criminals- sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle undetected through pockets and bags for any valuables being carried. The ... Jokes Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:41:51 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/watch-out-for-this-scam-t1287.htm#8849 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/watch-out-for-this-scam-t1287.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/an-age-old-question-answered-t1243.htm Lynelle Subject: HINDU WOMAN Ah,................... I can see clearly now... FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME.... For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their Religion. The Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings ... Jokes Sat, 17 Feb 2007 02:50:28 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/an-age-old-question-answered-t1243.htm#8585 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/an-age-old-question-answered-t1243.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/funny-t1282.htm Relyt These r actual writtings found on Tombstones! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Born 1903 - Died 1941 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down It was. In a Thurmond, Maryland cemetery Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up and no place to go In a London, England cemetery Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. December 8, 1767 In Ribbesford, England cemetery Anna Wallace: The ... Jokes Tue, 27 Feb 2007 21:32:21 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/funny-t1282.htm#8801 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/funny-t1282.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/this-one-aint-racist-t1276.htm Relyt PALM SUNDAY: IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY." "WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!" ********************* CHILDREN'S SERMON: ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING ... Jokes Sun, 25 Feb 2007 23:53:13 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/this-one-aint-racist-t1276.htm#8787 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/this-one-aint-racist-t1276.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/warning-contains-bodly-functions-male-humor-t1226.htm Sophie HOW TO POOP AT WORK >> We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart ... Jokes Mon, 12 Feb 2007 18:28:30 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/warning-contains-bodly-functions-male-humor-t1226.htm#8471 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/warning-contains-bodly-functions-male-humor-t1226.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/those-that-have-any-humorous-stories-t1159.htm Relyt Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A SECTION FOR STORIES JUST ABOUT JIG OR THE MAYERS... Jokes Tue, 23 Jan 2007 00:31:25 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/those-that-have-any-humorous-stories-t1159.htm#8132 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/those-that-have-any-humorous-stories-t1159.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-three-blondes-t1186.htm Anna > Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" > The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able > to notice things such ... Jokes Mon, 29 Jan 2007 13:42:41 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-three-blondes-t1186.htm#8250 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-three-blondes-t1186.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/excuse-me-sir-t1147.htm Amanda As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, ... Jokes Sun, 21 Jan 2007 23:00:12 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/excuse-me-sir-t1147.htm#8050 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/excuse-me-sir-t1147.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/natural-highs-t1093.htm Amanda Natural Highs Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end #45. 1. Falling in love. 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. 3. A hot shower. 4. No lines at the supermarket 5. A special glance. 6. Getting mail 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. 10. Hot towels ... Jokes Thu, 04 Jan 2007 14:39:09 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/natural-highs-t1093.htm#7778 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/natural-highs-t1093.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/amusing-bumper-stickers-t1140.htm Amanda I love animals, they taste great. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Give me ambiguity or give me something else. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: ... Jokes Wed, 17 Jan 2007 13:08:13 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/amusing-bumper-stickers-t1140.htm#8006 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/amusing-bumper-stickers-t1140.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/so-tired-t1141.htm Amanda For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why: The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed ... Jokes Wed, 17 Jan 2007 13:10:46 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/so-tired-t1141.htm#8008 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/so-tired-t1141.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-wife-and-anatomy-t1123.htm Brian A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as some churches call it, "Cry Sunday", one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation: "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered ... Jokes Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:22:41 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-wife-and-anatomy-t1123.htm#7915 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/the-wife-and-anatomy-t1123.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/lessons-from-mom-t1111.htm Amanda Things Mom Taught Me... My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way." My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!" My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?" ... Jokes Tue, 09 Jan 2007 18:14:44 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/lessons-from-mom-t1111.htm#7858 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/lessons-from-mom-t1111.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/computer-jokes-t1110.htm Amanda In Mousepads

What did the spider do in the computer?
It made a web page

What did the fir tree do when it got on the computer?
He logged on

What do you call a computer superhero?
A screen saver

Where do the computers go to shop?
The hardware store

What did the customers do in the busy computer store?
They got on line]]> Jokes Tue, 09 Jan 2007 18:13:01 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/computer-jokes-t1110.htm#7857 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/computer-jokes-t1110.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/god-s-coffee-t1101.htm Brian A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup ... Jokes Sat, 06 Jan 2007 00:31:27 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/god-s-coffee-t1101.htm#7808 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/god-s-coffee-t1101.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/so-t1092.htm Relyt SO has anyone tried the soulmate calculator? Try it and let us know .. I am sure it'll be amusing.. Jokes Thu, 04 Jan 2007 14:31:09 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/so-t1092.htm#7774 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/so-t1092.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/preacher-jokes-t1100.htm Relyt
Pastor: Because I feed the horse and the congregation feeds me..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]]> Jokes Fri, 05 Jan 2007 13:34:24 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/preacher-jokes-t1100.htm#7801 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/preacher-jokes-t1100.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/christian-one-liners-t1051.htm Brian Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* The good Lord didn't create anything without ... Jokes Wed, 20 Dec 2006 18:07:31 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/christian-one-liners-t1051.htm#7602 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/christian-one-liners-t1051.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ever-wonder-why-your-water-bill-is-so-high-t790.htm Amanda http://www.glumbert.com/media/cattoilet]]> Jokes Wed, 08 Nov 2006 15:05:21 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ever-wonder-why-your-water-bill-is-so-high-t790.htm#5686 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ever-wonder-why-your-water-bill-is-so-high-t790.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/hikers-comments-t761.htm Amanda A wilderness area asked hikers to fill out comment cards. These are actual comments left by hikers: Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them. The ... Jokes Mon, 06 Nov 2006 17:53:39 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/hikers-comments-t761.htm#5450 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/hikers-comments-t761.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/fishing-t759.htm Amanda One morning a husband returns to his lake cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book, enjoying the peace and quiet. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" Reading a book," she replies, thinking, "Isn't that obvious?" ... Jokes Mon, 06 Nov 2006 17:44:41 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/fishing-t759.htm#5448 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/fishing-t759.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/cat-s-diary-t758.htm Amanda Don't know if you guys have seen this or not....... Entries in a Cat's Diary: Day 183 of my captivity . My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while ... Jokes Mon, 06 Nov 2006 17:07:01 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/cat-s-diary-t758.htm#5446 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/cat-s-diary-t758.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/and-you-thought-you-were-having-a-bad-day-t760.htm Amanda I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 ... Jokes Mon, 06 Nov 2006 17:47:11 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/and-you-thought-you-were-having-a-bad-day-t760.htm#5449 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/and-you-thought-you-were-having-a-bad-day-t760.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/things-are-not-always-as-they-appear-t697.htm Amanda Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor, and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman watched the two men from her kitchen window as they checked her gas meter. When they had finished the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a ... Jokes Wed, 01 Nov 2006 13:01:34 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/things-are-not-always-as-they-appear-t697.htm#5142 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/things-are-not-always-as-they-appear-t697.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ytok-t698.htm Amanda Blonde Secretary's Memo to her Boss TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months: Januark Februark Mark Julk I ... Jokes Wed, 01 Nov 2006 13:03:13 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ytok-t698.htm#5144 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/ytok-t698.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/signs-that-childhood-is-over-t696.htm Amanda *Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. *Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun. *The average 10-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are. *Being bad is no longer cool. *You have friends who have kids. *Saturday mornings are for sleeping. *You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland. *Your parents' jokes are now funny. *You once said, "What-chu talkin' 'bout Willis?" *You have owned, ... Jokes Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:57:38 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/signs-that-childhood-is-over-t696.htm#5141 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/signs-that-childhood-is-over-t696.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/learn-to-speak-chinese-t695.htm Amanda Staying out of sight ...................Lei Ying Lo It's very dark in here .................Wao So Dim That is not right ......................Sum Ting Wong See me ASAP.............................Kum Hia Nao Small Horse ............................Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach? ...............Wai Yu So Tan I thought you were on a diet ...........Wai Yu Mun Ching This is a tow away zone ................No Pah King Our meeting is scheduled for next week .Wai Yu Kum Nao I ... Jokes Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:55:51 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/learn-to-speak-chinese-t695.htm#5140 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/learn-to-speak-chinese-t695.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/teehee-t694.htm Amanda A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed ... Jokes Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:51:36 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/teehee-t694.htm#5139 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/teehee-t694.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/fun-t608.htm Amanda

Can you count the black dots? How about the white dots?]]> Jokes Mon, 23 Oct 2006 15:03:39 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/fun-t608.htm#4666 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/fun-t608.htm http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/riddle-t605.htm Amanda

I am a 7 letter word.
1357 is an animal,
234 is a mode of transport,
456 is essential for life,
67 is a pronoun.
What is the answer?]]> Jokes Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:38:45 GMT http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/riddle-t605.htm#4663 http://ourfam.heavenforum.com/jokes-f15/riddle-t605.htm